I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
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They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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