no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
