I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
