you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
