But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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