Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
