its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
