ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
