Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
