Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
