well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
