I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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