i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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