I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
