you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
