and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
