Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Michael Bay diarrhea
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
