I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Let's get the cat blown out
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
