Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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