But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
