Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
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