i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
