Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize