I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize