i'm signing you up for texting rehab
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
