i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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