too bad you live with your parents still
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
