just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
