no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I think people are normalizing furries
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
