There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
