I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
