She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
