I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
