Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
wow bdsm is so cute
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
