where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
