i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
