Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
