You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
worst night to have a conscience
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
