If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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