Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
i now understand why vodka
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
