come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize