What did we do last night that was yellow?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
