I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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