It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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