she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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