Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
