WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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