jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
