What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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