Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
