I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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