every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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