You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
