lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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