i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
