Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Randomize
