Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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