i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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