I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
