Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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