Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
